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Surrender to the Universe

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I’ve noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control—when I allow them to happen instead of making them happen. Unfortunately, doing this takes hard work!

Although I feel I innately do this my need to be a perfectionist does take over! I suppose you could say I’m a bit of a control freak. Although I am planner and I am organised, a part of me also like to set caution to the wind and just let it go!  If that dinner with my husband is meant to happen, he can arrange it!  If I’m meant to go out with my friends, they will arrange something!  Or is this lack of control?

I could debate this forever, but there are three things I know for sure about trying to control things:

1. We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.

In other words, control is rooted in fear.

2. Control is also a result of being attached to a specific outcome—an outcome we’re sure is best for us, as if we always know what’s best.

When we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we don’t need to micro-manage the universe. We let go. And we open ourselves to all sorts of wonderful possibilities that aren’t there when we’re attached to one “right” path.

3. The energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control.

I suspect it’s slightly different for everyone, but here’s what control mode looks and feels like for me: My vision gets very narrow and focused, my breath is shallow, adrenaline is pumping and my heart rate increases.

My mind shifts from topic to topic and from past to future very quickly, and I have little concentration, poor memory, and almost no present-moment awareness.

In surrender mode, I’m calm, peaceful. Breathing deeply, present in the moment. I see clearly and my vision extends out around me, allowing me to (literally) see the bigger picture.

So the great irony is that attempting to control things actually feels less in control. When I’m micro-managing and obsessing over details, I know I’m in my own way.  I need to get out of my own way!

The Art of Surrender

Surrender literally means to stop fighting. Stop fighting with yourself. Stop fighting the universe and the natural flow of things. Stop resisting and pushing against reality.

Surrender = Complete acceptance of what is + Faith that all is well, even without my input. 

It’s not about inaction. It’s about taking action from that place of surrender energy.

If letting go of control and surrendering not only feel better, but actually produce better results, then how do we do that?

Sometimes it’s as easy as noticing that you’re in control mode and choosing to let go—consciously and deliberately shifting into surrender energy.

For example, when I become aware that I’m in control mode, I imagine I am sat in my serene place in my imagination, a forest dappled with sunshine.  In my minds eye I see a basket glowing from within.  I imagine the story that I am needing to control, the reason I feel like this, and I embrace it, I go through all the emotions I feel surrounding my reason, and truly let myself feel it.  Then I imagine putting that reason for my controlling behaviour into the basket.  Then I imagine a beautiful angel appearing behind me and gently touching my back for reassurance. Immediately I feel peace!  The angel then picks up the basket and flies away with my negative energy, turning around and waving goodbye.  I sit there and imagine the release I feel, the peace and tranquility.  Then when I am ready I open my eyes and stretch my arms!

I also say this:

I am determined to see with love, I surrender this story and let the universe do her thing!

This is a practise that takes time, it doesn’t just happen the first time you do it!  You have to keep practising it, and believe me, it will make an invaluable difference in your life!

Sometimes it’s a little harder to make the shift from control to surrender. Here are a few questions that can help:

1. What am I afraid will happen if I let go of control?

When you pinpoint the fear, question its validity. Ask yourself, Is it true? If you’re afraid the  your boyfriend doesn’t really love you, question that assumption.

Can you really know the he doesn’t love? Or is that more to do with you and your fear? And at the end of the day, what’s so bad about that? You would survive! And actually if you send out to hime uncertainty about his love, he may go the other way!  See?

2. Find out whose business you’re in.

Your business is the realm of things that you can directly influence. Are you there? Or are you in someone else’s business? When we’re trying to control things outside of our own business, it’s not going to go well.

3. Consider this: Would letting go feel like freedom?

It almost always would. Let that feeling of freedom guide you toward loosening your grip.

A Friendly Universe

Einstein said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”

I believe in a friendly universe.

Being receptive and allowing things to happen is a skill that can be practiced and improved upon. It helps to believe in a friendly universe—one that is supporting you at every turn so that you don’t have to worry yourself over the details.

We can always choose to do things the easy way or the hard way. We can muscle through, or we can let go of the oars and let the current carry us downstream.

There is a peaceful, yet focused energy that accompanies holding the intention of what I want, but not forcing myself to do it. That energy is magic. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m allowing it to become a habit instead of making it a habit.

Don’t let people effect your energy

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So just a little thought for today……I am a positive person and I believe will all my heart that life doesn’t happen to you!  You have to go out there and make your dreams and wishes come true, they won’t just happen!  You have to grab them!  The same is with your happiness and your wellbeing.  Don’t put your emotions into auto pilot. In order to be happy and at peace with your life you need to be aware of your emotions and alert to how you are feeling.  Now some people might think this is a load of baloney, but the important thing is I don’t!  Making sure each day you are conscious of how you are feeling helps you to maintain a healthy mindset and a day where people other people cannot effect you.  I’m not saying that you can float around the day in a constant happiness, oblivious to everyone around. However, not letting other people effect your wellbeing is being on the path of least resistance.  In order to do this you need to build yourself so high that if anybody does try to effect you, it only takes a moment or a bit of rethinking to get you back on your steady road!

More than anything feel gratitude for everything you have in your life and count your blessings, not what you don’t have!  Counting your blessings will make you feel so grateful and full of happiness, this will then be a point of attraction to create more good things in your life, as you will attract them to you.  Be negative and think about the bad things in life and you will attract that to you and it will stick.

So every day I count my blessings, and if anyone should enter my energy that effects how I feel, I list everything in my life and the world I love and it soon lifts me out of my grey feeling.  So don’t put your feelings on auto pilot, as you are the ruler of you true destiny!

Show a Smile

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When grey clouds seem to taunt you

Dreary dream echoes daunt you

Don’t let the thunder haunt you

Show a smile

When life warns a weary sadness

Don’t tumble in the madness

Whisper words of gladness

Show a smile

If gentle lips aren’t there to kiss you

And the mobile ring still miss you

Don’t let hard knocks dismiss you

Show a smile

When I’m not there to meet you

No petite hand yearns to reach you

Don’t let loneliness defeat you

Show a smile

Imagine my web of warm embrace

Dainty fingers caress your face

Weave through your delicate heart

Show a smile

When you weary head is sagging

And your dazzling spirit flagging

Although your starry eyes are lagging

Show a smile

Written by Melanie Lewis

I wanted to share this poem I wrote this for Best friend.  This was to lift his spirits when he was feeling low with life, when he was missing me.  I wanted to show him there was a way!  Life doesn’t happen to you, life is created by your decisions.  You can change your life by creating your happiness.  Don’t sit back and let life happen!  A happy life is a healthy mind set and it takes work!  But with a little bit of positive energy and love everyday our lives can be wonderful!  Happiness takes work, but it is work that is definitely worth it!

Painting credits (City by the Lake by Leonid Afremov)

A Story With A Moral….The Boy And The Echo.

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A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: “AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:
“AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Curious, he yells: “Who are you?”
He receives the answer: “Who are you?”
Angered at the response, he screams: “Coward!”
He receives the answer: “Coward!”
He looks to his father and asks: “What’s going on?”
The father smiles and says: “My son, pay attention.”
And then he screams to the mountain: “I admire you!”
The voice answers: “I admire you!”
Again the man screams: “You are a champion!”
The voice answers: “You are a champion!”
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: “People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence. This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life will give you back everything you have given to it.”

A little thought…..

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When something happens in your life that is big, it stops you bang in your tracks! It changes your perceptions on life and completely reorders what is important to you and your ideals for the future. I suffered with a brain aneurism 2 years ago, and I’m not going to go into the details, that is a part of my life that shaped me but it is over. However I will never be the same, it has made me want to make the most of every day and reach for the stars! It has put a fire back in my belly and the ultimate aim to put my family and friends first in my life! To enjoy life to the full. So when people ask me why I began my coaching business, that is my why but I am not just building my future and my happiness, I am serving people and helping them to build their dreams and desires!

The Beginning

My journey has just begun, but already my incredible new business opportunity has transformed my life in just 6 months.  However I have a huge vision where I will have financial freedom and choices in my life I have never had before!

So here’s a little about me, 6 months ago!  I have been an Arts Practitioner for 18 years which is a great career full of creativity, I write scripts, I teach children, I make puppets and I produce and project manage theatre & dance projects. As a career it is full of fun, variety and passion and I love what I do, but in order to create a healthy income for me and my family I have to work many many hours, which means I am constantly trading hours for time. It also can be unpredictable as even if you have employed work in the arts funding is not always 100% secure and I have on more than one occasion lost work due to funding cuts. I used to work a 6 day week, which to me was normal and because I love what I do it didn’t feel like a hard slog but then 2 years ago something changed I was diagnosed with a brain aneurism which meant I had to have a long time off work to recover from the operation. At the time I was self-employed this meant we had to survive on my husband’s income, which was very hard and got us further into debt. Really the worry of the debt is something I could have done without as well as going through something quite scary and life threatening! Not only did this experience make me re-evaluate my life and want to spend more time with my family and less time working, it also made me realise I needed to be more prepared for the future as you never know what might happen.

So fast forward to now, 6 months into my journey on my new venture for financial freedom. I no longer work 6 days a week, I have been able to cut my hours down to 4 days a week, which is amazing as it is already giving me more freedom and also energy to spend time with my family because I am no longer exhausted due to working crazy long hours! Which means I am building my new business around my life rather than my life fitting around work!

So just sit back and join me on the road whilst I drive you through an exhilarating journey……..!